Questions

Why is it that the further we go in life, the more questions there are? I've always somewhat assumed that as I got older, I would get wiser. I'm not sure that's the case anymore. I think that the older I get, the more I understand I know nothing.

My girl is sick. What's wrong with her? No one knows. And that scares me. I put on a happy face for all the world to see, and pretend that everything is fine. But it's not. I'm angry. I'm scared. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love my girl. I don't want to lose her. I hate walking down the hall every night to check on her. I stand there above her crib and just pray that God has spared her life for just a little bit longer. I hate that. I am jealous of everyone else with their perfect children. Why can't that be our daughter? Why is it ours has to be the one who is sick?

It's been over a month since we've been to the hospital. Yeah.

I want to know why.

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I know. I have to end the pity party. God has given me a beautiful daughter that is growing up strong and has a great personality. Who am I to question the BLESSING that God has given us? I would not trade her for anybody. I love her so much.

I'm just tired of being scared.

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Thank you God for the many blessings you give to us each day. Give me the strength to make it through another day. Help me to get the focus off of me, and put it on you. Thank you for loving me.